15 Mistakes You Need To Make While Still In Your 20’s

Being in the 20’s means you are in the best period of your life, independent yet not burdened with the wights of life, happy in a childish and ignorant way. With this being said this is the best period to experiment life and test the limits, to get the taste of what being young, free and reckless means, so don’t miss the opportunity to make the following mistakes!

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1.Fall in love with an emotionally unavailable person

Being heartbroken is not nice, but the rush you get when you are doing something that you know is wrong cannot be replaced. Sometimes you need to take the leap of faith and do the unthinkable, fall in love with a person who is not available to you. It is important to get this out of your system and recognize the pattern when you will stumble upon it again.

 2. Try out all of your sexual fantasies

YES, it is allowed, it is OK and it is normal. We all have fantasies and we all want to make them happen, even if we would realize they weren’t that great after all. Don’t want to meet that special someone to ask him or her for a threesome. Do whatever you feel like doing, it is your moment.

3. Join Tinder or any other online dating app

Everything is online nowadays and online dating is the new trend, so grab that phone, make that awesome picture and click join. You will be surprised by the newly discovered ground. Who knows maybe you will find your soulmate there or just the next great date.

4. Go out on blind dates

Meghan Markle met Prince Henry on a blind date set by one of her friends if that isn’t reason enough for you to try it out, I don’t know what is. Sometimes going out with people whom you would never actually date brings more benefits that you can think, most likely you will not become a duchess any time soon, but it is a great way to experiment what you like and what you don’t.

5. Make love to a stranger in a foreign country

This one might not be for the weak ones, but is definitely one of the greatest fantasies out there. To know you will never meet again and you will be able to enjoy it in an egoistic way. You only live once, so make sure you do it at full speed.

6. Swim naked in the sea

If you are brave enough you will do it during the day, if not you can try it at night. Be prepared to have your clothes stolen and do the walk of shame. Yet you will have as much adrenaline in your veins to do it proudly.

7. Wear inappropriate clothing

Yep, this is the time to wear all the clothes that would give your grandparents a heart attack. You can pull off any type of outfit you can think of and still be considered young and reckless.

8. Get a crappy job

Sooner or later you need to take that step and get your first job. Some people might think you need to be responsible and make that job a great one and stay there until your retirement, but that is not the case. The first job should be as crappy as possible, since you want to see how money is made and to respect those who do it, no matter what their status is.

9. Call in sick and go on a road-trip

There is no better feeling than the one you get when you do something bad and you don’t get caught. So give the actor in you a try and aim for a little white lie, then hit the road with the music on. Just make sure you don’t put it on Facebook for your boss to see it.

10. Write at least one resignation letter

You should not be accepted in the 30s if you’ve never written a resignation letter. It is one of the best lessons out there, so if you want to quit your job grab a pen and pencil and start writing, you don’t need to be rude, I strongly recommend you not to, yet you need to state the truth.

11. Get drunk

Losing control, getting drunk and enjoying the present moment for what it is. Going to that guy you like and kissing him out of the blue, or jumping on a table and start moving like Jagger. For one night you can say goodbye to the good girl/guy you are.

12. Get high in Amsterdam or in a country where weed is legal

I would strongly recommend doing this as a one-time thing, an experience and not an addiction. For me, smoking was never an option since I hate it, yet eating a brownie and letting of the control was an amazing thing. Laughing like crazy in the city of Amsterdam is the kind of bucket list experience. Not going to repeat it in the near future, yet I treasure the memory of it.

13. Spend all of your money on an exotic trip

Sometimes you need to do an arrogant thing and book that trip to that exotic place you’ve always dreamed of going. Maybe it was a city from Europe, or Las Vegas or even Bangkok. There is no better time to experience it than in your 20s.

14. Spend a whole months salary in one day

Getting that LV purse, festival tickets, second-hand car or diamond necklace, sometimes you need to see what a month of hard work can bring you, even it that will make your landlord scream like crazy.

15. Spend a full week indoors watching TV Series and eating junk food

Forgetting what day it is and when you last had a decent meal can be easily achieved when looking at TV series, Friends, Sex and the City, Game of Thrones, Gossip Girl, whatever your drug of choice is, there is no better way to spend your holidays than with a lot of popcorn, cheap alcohol, and TV.

Sometimes you need to be young and stupid, it is OK to not have your sh*t together, it’s OK to fail. Almost everything is allowed during this period and you should make the most of it, don’t worry adulthood will slap you pretty soon, but if it’s not today then you need to make the next mistake on the list. Enjoy your life to the fullest, you deserve it!

Article also published on Thought Catalog.

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You Will Find Love At The Right Time

I am pretty sure the bestselling books are about ways you can find or persuade love. The recipes for happiness, the place you can find the ONE, how to get him or her back or even a few spells that you can cast. These are all on the internet or at least in a few books buried in the libraries. Nowadays, the trend is with books that help you become your own shrink, to read about who you are and how to find yourself as if you are somehow a lost puppy and someone should call the fire department to bring you back.

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Truth is there is no general recipe that you can follow, no 10-step program that you need to take, and even therapy can only help you find what you already know. No book, no conference, no show, no friend can help you with this matter, you are all alone in it and you are the only hero that can save yourself. Scared yet? You shouldn’t be, welcome to adulthood, it’s horrible, but you’ll learn to love it.

I cannot tell you how to do it, but I can tell you how I did it. By giving me time to discover who I am and what I like, by going on random dates with all sort of people to learn who I want by my side and what are the deal breakers. By dancing the night away in fancy, hippy or rockers’ clubs. By not leaving my apartment for a full weekend and surviving on frozen pizza. By crying myself to sleep while holding my cat. By being heartbroken when I saw my crush holding hands with another woman. By driving until the gas runs out. By dancing alone in my house, with the music at full volume until the neighbors complained. By looking at a comedy and laughing with tears. By reading, by traveling, by living!

When I less expected, I realized that I am independent and that I can take care of myself. I am no longer afraid of putting gas in my car or taking it in for service. I am not scared of falling in love and getting hurt, I survived this already a couple of times so I will do it again if needed. That I am sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but most of the time OK. And so it happened, I found who I was, a random soul on a random planet, among other random people, living the life that I want, no boundaries, no rules.

As for love, I found that there is no “the one”, I found a couple of “ones”, each at the right time and place. Sometimes it was intense love, other times it was peaceful. Sometimes it was me who loved harder, other times it was the other way around. I got dumped and I also found myself leaving. I was cheated and I cheated, even if just with a kiss.

Some of us are lucky enough never to go through this, but unfortunately, most of us will have to. But only to add this to our life story. So you will find love a couple of times if you decide to take the risk. Each type of love will be unique and will bring happiness in its own way. The only constant that has to be is the ability to move forward and evolve. The rest is marketing!

Article also published on Thought Catalog: https://thoughtcatalog.com/iuliana-roman-popovici/2018/04/i-promise-you-will-find-love-at-the-right-time/

Exes: Friends or Enemies?

Who are the exes, these creatures that live in our past but somehow are found also in our present? Can we really be friends with someone with whom we used to share the bed and memories in a platonic manner? Can we make peace with the ones that betrayed or hurt us?

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I have quite a lot of exes gathered in my past, but I don’t have them as my friends, they are in my past for a reason and I would like to keep them there. From time to time I stumble upon something that makes me remember them, a song or a perfume usually sends me back to the memory lane with a bit of nostalgia. So today as I played an old song and remembered the fun times I had with an old boyfriend I got to think about this question. Can we really be friends with an ex?

If we strip up the sex part, we are all best friends with our partners. Given that can we think of our exes as friends without the “main” benefit? Or is it like your mother telling you that you can keep your dead dog if you want to?

Being a choleric person, I love and hate with the same intensity so once the love is gone, you can guess what’s the next feeling that I have for that person. Even after all of thees years I still like to see my exes face when he sees me with another person or all glorious by myself, but I have heard of people who say they are friends with their exes. So I started to ask questions to know how they define their friendship.

A couple of replies that I got were:

“All was left from our relation was the friendship, we stopped having sex and decided to be just friends.”

“I missed her so much so I preferred having her as my friend rather than not having her in my life at all.”

“When I am lonely and between relationships, I like to know he is there and I can talk to him. We were always very good friends and he is such a good listener.”

“I genuinely care about him and want to know he is happy, so I call him for a drink every time I am in town, he seems pleased to hear from me, though we never talk about our current partners.”

“We are not together anymore because I cheated on her but when I am between partners I call her to grab dinner and casually have sex. It’s like an unwritten contract that we are having.”

“Have never been friends with an ex, went from love to hate. Also, I am 100% sure my current partner wouldn’t agree with me being friends with an ex.”

“My boyfriend is still friends with an ex, they are not very close, but they speak occasionally. Can’t say that I am bothered, also don’t know if it would bother me if they were closer than this.”

All of this I got either from old college stories or from acquiescence, none of my close friends, especially the ones that are now in happy partnerships can say that they are keeping in touch with old boyfriends. So there was still one questions that didn’t receive an answer, are you still feeling sexually attracted to your ex?

Being friend with an ex might be similar to my relationship with sugar, love the taste even if I know it’s bad for me. You get together with someone because you have feelings for him/her, once the relationship is over, those feelings either change or are still the same. Both cases are incompatible with friendship IMO, so why bother?

Since human beings are so complex it is hard to say if we are all reacting in the same way when it comes to relationships with exes. I don’t believe in perfect recipes, we should all add something custom in our lives to make it better. If that is an ex, why not have him or her in our lives, just make sure it is indeed a smart thing to do!

Article also published on Though Catalog: https://thoughtcatalog.com/iuliana-roman-popovici/2018/04/can-anyone-ever-truly-be-friends-with-an-ex/

Reasons #not To Cheat

A few days ago I saw that one of the visitors from my blog ended up here after searching an answer to the question “reasons not to cheat”.  So I thought I should address this here and now, my top 7 reasons never to cheat, even when it looks like the best answer.

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  • If you found yourself asking this question then you are half lost, but not completely

When in doubt give it a few days to rest, see if you still feel the same urge to do this, or if were you just upset. We all have that moment when we would love to turn back time and have some fun, but again those days were not that great either if you think about the lonely nights. Don’t rush into something that you will regret later.

  • Cheating never solved the initial problem, it’s like only smelling a pizza when you are starving

If you feel that you are no longer happy with your current partner and you feel there is no turning back, then it’s time to call it quits. Cheating will not make things work between the two of you, will not bring back the fire, but will only make you even more confused. Take a break and figure out if there is still something that you can save from your current partnership, or if it’s time to pack the bags.

  • You will have to live with the guilt and since you are looking for reasons not to do this, means you already feel guilty

You might think it will be easy to go back to your house and bed after laying in a different one, but you will be surprised at the amount of guilt that can be build from that.

  • You will hurt the person you are currently with and the damage might be permanent

Sooner or later the truth will come out, you will make a mistake and your partner will find out. From that moment you will know that your relationship is doomed. Even if he or she will say that they forgive you, they will never do it. Put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel?

  • Relationships are built on respect and communication so don’t jeopardize those

In time the butterflies that you felt in the first years will die and will leave only the respect and friendship. The only way you can grow these 2 aspects is by communicating with your significant other and when times are bad that is what you should do, talk about the problems.

  • It might look like love what you feel for the new guy or girl but it might be just lust

After a while, in a relation, you might want to feel the butterflies again and some innocent flirting could possibly take you there. You could get the impression that you are madly in love and that is your *new soulmate, but in 99% of the time, what you are feeling is lust, so don’t throw away what you have for something that most likely will not last.

  • There are no such things as happily ever after, you need to create that yourself but that means that you cannot run into the hands of someone new when you are feeling blue

All fairy tales end when the two get together, none tells you what happens after 10 years, or after 20 years, 2 kids and financial problems. The honeymoon phase only lasts a few years, after that there will be times when you would want to run away to Paris and hide there, but before you pack your bags see if you can bring someone else with you.

From time to time we all feel lost and it is them when we start looking for some new purpose. We want to feel the chills and some adrenaline in our veins, and let’s face it, there is no bigger rush than lust, but that feeling won’t last, you will be just like a junky increasing the dosage to feel the same thrill. Have a change of scenery with your current partner and see if there is still something left to save. Go on vacation and asses if you are still in love, if not walk away! You have the right to be happy and if this person isn’t making you happy, then you should find a new one, but only after letting this one go.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I hope this day finds you happy and in love, first with yourself, but not in a narcissistic way, and lastly with someone special. If that special someone hasn’t yet appeared don’t panic and don’t start to hate the day, just count on your best friends and celebrate, because no special occasion should be missed.

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I know that the internet is full of the signification of today but bear with me and allow me to tell you the legend of the Priest Valentine. In the Ancient Rome, there was an emperor named Claudiu II, who was a great fighter and wanted a powerful army, unfortunately for him, Roman men didn’t want to go to war, but to stay home with their wife’s and loved ones. So Claudiu decided to forbid marriage and hoped that men will now want to focus only on fighting.

Valentin, a young priest believed that marriage is a gift from God and that all people should be allowed to do it and so he married people stealthily until the emperor caught him. He was offered the option to give up God and join the army but he declined and was sentenced to death. He was executed on the 14th of February and up until the last day he sent his friends goodbye letters telling them not to forget “their Valentine”.

Even if the legend is a sad one, people have turned it into a happy event that should be celebrated with the loved ones: friends, family or significant other. So don’t be a Grinch, pick up that glass of wine and toast for love, the purest energy from the Universe.

Happy Valentine’s Everyone!

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About Love and Other Vices

In the era of fast communication and social media, love seems to have lost ground in the face of vanity and appearances. Somehow it becomes socially acceptable to trade happiness for the perfect shot, but at what cost?

John Milton: Vanity, definitely my favorite sin. –  The Devil’s Advocate

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Looking for love is hard, always has been, at least for most of us. I know there are a special few that were lucky enough to find the love of their life from the first shot, but for the majority of us, finding that special someone meant lots of heartaches. Unfortunately, the modern inventions aren’t working in our favour and from my perspective is only putting more pressure on us.

The idea of that power couple that always looks flawless in pictures with the matching outfit is hunting most of us. Clearly, we all want to be Brad and Angelina on the red carpet, but can we all be “picture perfect couple”? Furthermore, we all saw what happened to Brangelina, so looking perfect didn’t work in their favour either.

In the era of Tinder and other matching applications; Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, only to name a few social media ones, it is far more important to look happy, accomplished or stylish than to actually be happy. We have the perfect life displayed on our accounts, but how much of that is real and how much is just a “perfect” capture?

Clearly, we don’t want to show the world how our hair looks on a bad day or that we are suffering from a bad breakup, but the obsession with perfection made us distant and colder. It is as if we want to display only a side of ourselves, the pretty one, but we are afraid to let people in and see us for what we truly are, that is far from the perfection we present on social media.

Perhaps is only my personal opinion, but to be fully accomplished means to have that special someone by your side, to share all the beautiful moments with him/her, to cheer up when you see their face and to want to make them happy. Most of these feeling will never be caught on camera and we should never even try to catch them, these should never leave the privacy of our houses/beds.

Many relationships these days end when they should have just begun, either because we formed an opinion of the other person when we browse their online profiles and that is far from the offline reality or because we don’t want to settle for something less than extraordinary when it comes to love. We want the picture perfect couple idea, we want to be the true power couple that everyone says they are so beautiful and perfect together, but we forget that the idea of the power couple is not based on looks but on having each other back and helping each other grow.

Looks aren’t everything and vanity should never have priority over happiness, it is OK not to be perfect, nor to have the ideal house/car/boyfriend. What is not OK is to be unhappy and alone, because you set impossible to accomplish standards.

The Exclusive Club of the Married ones

Being in my late 20’s, naturally, I have a lot of friends that are either married, getting married or having kids. Although this is part of life and in a traditionalist society mandatory to happen, for me, marriage is not, and probably will never be, the most important event in my life.

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Talking to one of my friends who got married last year, she pointed out how things changed after she said “yes” and how she now became part of this exclusive club where only married people are allowed. Furthermore, she tried to convince me that I should persuade my boyfriend to propose so that we could officially join this club.

I couldn’t help myself from being amused when I heard yet another story about the superiority of the married ones. Unfortunately, many of this fancy club members, not long after the big event, ended up going to another exclusive club, those of the mistresses, only to take a break from the other club that isn’t making them happy anymore.

To me, marriage is a tradition, similar to the Christmas tree, nice to have but not mandatory! I can have an amazing Christmas even without the tree! If I choose to have one is only because that is making ME happy and not because I should do it for the society or for joining a club.

When a couple decides to go through this process, they should be at that point in their relationship where they are happy and stable. They should definitely NOT try to fix their relationship using marriage and should never think that they are about to become the owners of the other person. The “marriage” paper will not be tattooed on the other’s person face, so this is not a guarantee that he/she is now “officially” yours.

Feeling superior only because you are now married, is just wrong and disrespectful to the “other” kind, this will only create a gap between single and married people. Being single is not a synonym for being unhappy, I’ve seen far more unhappy people in a relationship, official or not, than single ones. On Earth, there is plenty of space for both camps, so there is no need for taking sides, if you are happily married then I am happy, just try not to convince me to join you, I know better than you what is making ME happy.